I wish I never saw the Sunshine
1st night in my new place.
Well what is expected here. I dont know.
Everything is in boxes, boxes on boxes, boxes near boxes.
Glenn was a real pill last night as we headed back from dinner.
The itty bitty kitchen wont even fit a mixing bowl in the cabinets.
The bed is disassembled and sitting in the middle of the bedroom. When I got "home" last night I flopped the mattress on top of the box spring, right where it sat. Tossed a sheet on it. And went to bed.
So i started putting stuff away this morning. And realizing just how much stuff I still dont have over there. I want to put something away, but cant until more furniture moves over there.
No idea when I'm going to get internet over there. So writing from the house.
I feel very choppy and sporadic right now. Just not really fluid.
I slept ok I guess. Woke up a few times not really knowing where i was. During the night I had to use the bathroom and it was so dark in my bedroom I had to fumble and stumble to the door.
I think I will feel a bit better when the bed is set up and there is some stuff on the walls. But right now its just a cluttered mess, much like this post is.
But I didnt cry when I walked away from the house last night.
I didnt cry when I turned out the light in my new bedroom.
I didnt cry when I woke up not knowing where anything was.
The pain is still in there. But right now there is a priorty for normalcy and some desire for order.
Well what is expected here. I dont know.
Everything is in boxes, boxes on boxes, boxes near boxes.
Glenn was a real pill last night as we headed back from dinner.
The itty bitty kitchen wont even fit a mixing bowl in the cabinets.
The bed is disassembled and sitting in the middle of the bedroom. When I got "home" last night I flopped the mattress on top of the box spring, right where it sat. Tossed a sheet on it. And went to bed.
So i started putting stuff away this morning. And realizing just how much stuff I still dont have over there. I want to put something away, but cant until more furniture moves over there.
No idea when I'm going to get internet over there. So writing from the house.
I feel very choppy and sporadic right now. Just not really fluid.
I slept ok I guess. Woke up a few times not really knowing where i was. During the night I had to use the bathroom and it was so dark in my bedroom I had to fumble and stumble to the door.
I think I will feel a bit better when the bed is set up and there is some stuff on the walls. But right now its just a cluttered mess, much like this post is.
But I didnt cry when I walked away from the house last night.
I didnt cry when I turned out the light in my new bedroom.
I didnt cry when I woke up not knowing where anything was.
The pain is still in there. But right now there is a priorty for normalcy and some desire for order.
posted by B at 10:48 AM
1 Comments:
"Then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain."
I remember my very first night in my first apartment. First time living on my own, moving out from my parents' house. I'd bought a brand new "big girl" (queen-size; I'd only ever had a twin my whole life) bed and it had been delivered that morning.
Russell spent the night with me. I didn't want him to, but I couldn't tell him that. I wanted to spend my very first night in my very own place on my own. To show I could, I dunno. But he wanted to stay, be supportive and committed and together, whatever that crap means. I didn't like the auspiciousness of it; I'm quite superstitious. And I was right. And now I never had that first night in my own place on my own.
I think if you can spend the first night on your own it goes a long way towards standing up for yourself and being strong enough to be your own person. And that's the hardest thing to find, imo.
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