Pretty Angry

And we packed up all your boxes
It's all been hauled away
I never stare at walls so bare
'Cause something always stays
Yeah something of you stays

This morning, it all got to me again. The sense of the on-my-own ness. The almost incurable feeling that I will never have anyone to help me in lifes daily challenges. I sat here at my desk weeping tears of frustration. Like a flood it just over took me, I couldnt take anymore. Again another obstacle came in front of me, and again I had to figure out HOW i was going to do this on my own without outside help.

I was so angry. Angry that I'm having so many problems with this move. I'm angry that i'm taking on so many inconvienences. Sure you have no pots and pans, but all of your life hasnt been disrupted. All of your life hasnt been moved 2 blocks. All of your life is still residing in that warm home. A home that had our friends over. A home that we shared so much love.

I dont have a home any longer. I have an apartment, that still has boxes on the floor, only 1 print on the wall, 2 empty shelves in my bookcase and only 1 pillow on our bed.

Yea, I'm angry. I have a noisy neighbor above me. Yes I'm angry that my life has been completly disrupted for the past month. I'm really angry.

And this morning when those tears came out it was all because of my frustration with this situation. This never ending amount of obstacles, just when I figured I've cleared them all.. another comes up to throw me down again.

But today I got up, I got over that most recent burm. I had a fablous day at work. I worked hard, I worked happy. And it was all me.

Had my dinner, alone, dessert, alone, and drinks, alone. And in a few, I will take my medication to sleep, alone. And tomorrow when I get up, alone, there will still be hope in my heart and a smile within me.