Aftermath

I got a email from my husband late last night, hoping I had a good time with my work friends.

My reply

Thanks. It was nice. I didnt pay for anyting tonight abd I felt guilty about it.I miss you. At least I lasted this long with out crying.. I didnt even get a kiss on my birthday.
It just sucks so bad. The first year of my life that I finally feel anything, feel sexy, feel emotions. to be completely alone on my birthday.
I will just cry myself to sl;ee p like i did last night.. What a way to start a new year.
b

He replied for me not to cry and that things will be ok.

my reply to that:

no one else remembered. Its not like i didnt post about my birthday coming up like a hundred times on board in the past few weeks.
It wasnt until 10:18 til someone posted a somewhat of a birthday message to me on the board,.
I spent my entire fuckin birthday emotionally alone and thats hurting so mcuh right now.

I'm still pretty sad about it all. I used a lot of tissues last night.
I hope my eyes are less puffy... eh a bit. I better get in the shower and wash all this hairspray out. I didnt sleep well last night, as to be expected. But I did get some sleep.

Less than 20 days before i leave. 6 days to get 2 quilt squares done. Gotta pack, get the white dress done. I dont know what else to do. I'm stressed out, not sleeping and hurt.

eta: I want to add that none of my family remembered either.