Chalkdust torture

I'm really stressing out now.
I cant sleep. My eating is practically non existant.
I'm so fuckin freaked out about this trip.

I still dont have access to the house. And I have to leave for therapy now. I need to pack. I need to get all the gear, here. I still need to finish this white dress again. I tried sewing this morning and I couldnt even sew a straight line, cause my hands are shaking so bad.

I leave in a week. I'm not ready.

will edit more in here after therapy.

so i got the come on over for the key email just as I was walking out the door to therapy. i rushed over to the house, grabbed the key and ran to therapy.

In therapy we talked for what has been going on for the past month. We had a lot of ground to cover. But it was a good session. She said that my thinking was correct about glenns actions over the past 3 weeks. So that made me feel good that I can look at a situation subjectivly and analyze just what it is as it is.
I went back to the house after therapy and weighed myself. 150.4. I had lost 3 more pounds since my birthday. WOO!

I then started gathering all my things i needed, tent, sleeping bag, air mattress and all the storage tubs. Many many trips later I got it all in my house. Saturday and sunday I will actually start organzing and packing it all.

Glenn apologized for the nasty things he said to me on tuesday night. Do I believe his apology was sincere? I dont know.
We talked a little more calmly this afternoon however and I think for the moment we are back to being friends again.
He has a date tonight.
I was supposed to go out with some of my friends from work, but I just recently got a call that that isnt going to happen. SO to the bar by myself I go. I was so psyched up to go and I'm still going as it was already set in my brain that I was going to get my cosmos tonight.

So I got on a tight shirt and my little shorts, my legs are mostly shaved and I look pretty darn cute with my tight little pony tail. I'm not going to be bothered with washing my hair at 8pm.

So tonight while i was trying to figure out what to wear, I tried on my maroon halter top dress. Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn.. that shit is hot.

HA! even my landlord noticed my weight loss.

Anyway. it was a good day and I got most of the stuff at my place now. I go over to the house tomorrow at 10 am to bring my bike and poles over to another friends house cause he is bringing them down for me. I may also gather a fuckload of plums to make more jam. There are so many plums on the tree next door it would be a shame to see them all become bird food.

Tomorrow is another day.