If I Could

So now that the last piece of my heart has been shattered. I cried myself to sleep last night. Only fell alseep cause of the two traz that i took to get there.

Woke at 3 and was awake til 5 am or so. Thinking about the finallity of it all.

I just sit here in this awful numbing pain. It has completly filled my body now.
I always held out hope that the last piece would remain intact.

I'm just numb all over and removing the dried tears from my eyelashes.

If some day in the future he relizizes that he messed up and wants to start over. Will I try again. I cant answer that now.

edited to add: A quote from the letter he wrote to me at the start of all this. "i'm not looking to get into another relationship very soon". That was written on 4/22/06. He got into a "relationship" with her the week I moved out, so not even a month later. Now he's in love with her, that seems very relationship like. What is very soon. A month? 6 months? A week.

I'm so angry and sad and so many other things. And I am also sincere when I wish him all the happiness he deserves.