In a Little While

I feel unhappy
I feel so sad
I lost the best friend
That I ever had
She was my woman
I loved her so
But it's too late now
I've let her go
I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes
We shared the years
We shared each day
In love together
We found a way
But soon the world
Had its evil way
My heart was blinded
Love went astray
I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes
It took so long
To realize
That I can still hear
Her last goodbyes
Now all my days
Are filled with tears
Wish I could go back
And change these years
I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

Changes, by Ozzy. Was one of the songs that spoke to me a bit today. The other was by Jimi Hendrix

The morning is dead
And the day is too
There's nothing left here to greet me
But the velvet moon
All my loneliness
I have felt today
It's a little more than enough
To make a man throw himself away
And i continue
To burn the midnight lamp
Alone

Now the smiling portrait of you
Is stll hangin' on my frowning wall
It really doesn't really doesn't bother me too much at all
It's just the, uh, ever falling dust
That makes it so hard for me to see
That forgotten ear-ring laying on the floor
Facing coldly toward the door
And i continue
To burn the midnight lamp
All alone

Burn
Lonely lonely, yeah
Lonely lonely lonely
Loneliness is such a, drag

With the bolded line being the most important. This is a drag. I wonder is he lonely. And I still wonder if there is hope for our relationship. I leave in less than 2 weeks. Tonight is friday night, so its stargate night. And my one night I can spend with him. I wonder if he wishes he could go back like ozzy said in his song. Today for some reason I miss him a lot. Somedays, as I'm getting stronger in this continued life of mine I think about him, but not like I used to. I'm going through my own changes.

We are also going to costco tonight, to get me more food supplies for daily life and for the playa.

I was going to go to safeway to pick up some things. But I'm having a little wait due to fed ex. I did get my cell phone re-established today and 54$ later I have 25$ worth of credit on my phone. I also have a new cell number. Which is fine cause i didnt know the old one.

But yeah...today is just different. And I really dont know how or why. But my heart is a bit achy today. Just a series of good days and bad days.

I better get back to working on this last quilt square. Then onto the white dress again.

edit at 4:21: so I was in a pity party mood there for a bit. So I did something to get me out of it. I put on clothes. Clothes that hadnt fit me in years. Clothes that make me look sexy. Clothes that made me feel flirty. And clothes that are just plain fun. Some outfits for the playa and so forth. I'm feeling good again. So even throughout the day I have good times and bad times. Now to get back to my closet and finding more dresses and sexy shorts to put on.

edit at 4:39 : So in my going through my garmet rack of dresses I came across a dress i've never worn. I purchased it on november 5th of 2005 at the goodwill glitter sale. 24.99. Jones new york Little black dress with matching jacket. It fits now. Its a size 10. Sure I still have a belly fat problem that I'm working on. But damn.. I look good.. check that I look great in a little black dress. I'm a happy girl right now.