I Go Crazy

So I'm at work smiling through my pain and tiredness.
Fake it til you make it, they say.
My voice actually cracked at one point when I wished someone a good day.

Is there a guide to letting go? Is there a lesson plan on how to stop being in love.
I know I have to for both our sakes.

If I love him as much as I say I do and only wish him every happiness that he deserves, and if this is what will make him happy. Then I guess I have no choice in the matter.

Will letting go make me stop loving him. I dont know.
Its one of those things that I have to let go, but, I never have to give up.

I just dont know how to let go. I havent a clue on the first step. Sure no or little contact (As long as I can still do my laundry.)
But what else. There has got to be more.
How long will it take to let him go. How long will it take for my insides to not gnaw at me. How long will it take for me?

So many things and questions I still dont understand.
And I think because of that... Letting go... is going to be harder than even he imagines. Cause there are too many unanswered questions.


I just did a web search on letting go... i found this quote

Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on is an energy drain and it hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice. Letting go does not mean giving up.

I think i will be doing a lot of thinking on that one.