Will

I would like to announce..

The pity party is over

Something changed inside me today. I dont know what it is. But. I decided today that its time to act like myself for a change. The past 6 months I havent been myself (for the most part) I have been acting like a wounded animal that probably just needed to be put down. But not any longer.

Today is the first day of my life.
I'm smiling cause I know I'm an amazing and extrordinary woman. And its damn time I start acting like it.

I'm making plans for this shitty little apartment.
I'm making plans for me.
I'm going to get my creative outlet.
I'm going to sign up for that run.
I'm going to finally do what I need to do for me.

Today IS the first day of my life.

I'm going to start sewing curtains, dresses and so forth.
I'm going to get my cafepress store going.
I'm going to capitol hill and go to an art store and buy supplies to try to start yet another hobby and something I've always wanted to try, but was to scared to fail.
I'm going to capitol hill and getting myself new shoes for running.


Today is the FIRST day of MY life.

The pity party ends today. Does that mean I wont be sad about Glenn and I. No. Its a part of my life as well. Does that mean I wont cry? No, crying is natural and human and Its taken me to many years of my life and too many years of therapy to not be human. Does that mean I wont keep feeling like i'm missing something, kind of that leaving the oven on sensation every few moments, when its only because my ring is not longer on my hand. Well hopefully that feeling will fade. But its time to live and learn to love every one of these emotions cause I've earned ever one of these emotions i get to feel now.

My life starts.... NOW.