Across the Universe
All i did was eat tonight. Supposedly my diet has restarted. Supposedly.
From when I got home at 9:15 til 11:02 I was stuffing myself with anything. I really dont know why.
Frustration? Perhaps.
I'm still frustrated at this damn vertigo thats haunting my mood, my mind and my body.
I just hate feeling like I do and maybe its (the eating) just making me feel better. WHich it really isnt.
And in the heart front.. In some small way I still hope glenn changes his mind about the divorce. I was thinking about that on the way home tonight. Once its final I really dont know how I'm going to feel. I think the biggest problem that I'm having is that he will no longer be in my life or do I want him to be apart of my life and IF I want him to be apart of my life, How do I have him in my life and keep myself sane. Its just the thought of having him out of my life for good is making me feel like this. Its scaring me actually, do I want to have contact with him after its over? Do I want to go to dinner with him occasionally? Do I want to stay friends with him? OR Do I want him out of my life for good with only contact via email if I need something out of the house? Those are the questions that I just dont know how to answer yet.
Gah.. I ate to much.
And I'm still frustrated at work too.
In other news.. I may be learning how to paint soon. More on that another night.
From when I got home at 9:15 til 11:02 I was stuffing myself with anything. I really dont know why.
Frustration? Perhaps.
I'm still frustrated at this damn vertigo thats haunting my mood, my mind and my body.
I just hate feeling like I do and maybe its (the eating) just making me feel better. WHich it really isnt.
And in the heart front.. In some small way I still hope glenn changes his mind about the divorce. I was thinking about that on the way home tonight. Once its final I really dont know how I'm going to feel. I think the biggest problem that I'm having is that he will no longer be in my life or do I want him to be apart of my life and IF I want him to be apart of my life, How do I have him in my life and keep myself sane. Its just the thought of having him out of my life for good is making me feel like this. Its scaring me actually, do I want to have contact with him after its over? Do I want to go to dinner with him occasionally? Do I want to stay friends with him? OR Do I want him out of my life for good with only contact via email if I need something out of the house? Those are the questions that I just dont know how to answer yet.
Gah.. I ate to much.
And I'm still frustrated at work too.
In other news.. I may be learning how to paint soon. More on that another night.
posted by B at 10:57 PM
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