tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101644842011-09-22T13:58:26.858-07:00Started out as a journey through the pits of despair and depression. Then it became about recovering from divorce. Now that I'm no longer depressed, this is now becoming a new journey, of weight loss, finding a career and love.Bnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3191100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-80596748600293398132009-10-07T23:01:00.000-07:002009-10-07T23:20:41.664-07:00

Oh yea its been a while since I've last written. Still unemployed. Still very single. Still over weight. Ok so there nothing has changed in the past year. But yet so much has gone on. Bryon came and went. And went oddly. I do hope that in the future we can be friends. But thats up to him. But when I got back from my trip to denver and interhash, he cut off all contact. Saying things "got weird".

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-14024393093381903802009-06-26T14:05:00.000-07:002009-06-26T14:14:30.420-07:00

Well its finally happened. I'm a girlfriend. Its only take what.. like 3 years. Bryon is just the sweetest guy and he treats me oh so well. I just feel so comfortable around him and I dont know. Its just awesome. Not to mention the sex.. which is also awesome. There are probably a lot of reasons why he and I shouldnt be together. But some how it all works. I'm so deliriously happy with him and I

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-31828868162296761852009-05-18T21:41:00.000-07:002009-05-18T22:24:11.665-07:00

really this blog entry (and I know its been a while since i've written one) should be really entitled, B & the 4 boys. After months.. MONTHS if not years.. I have found myself being attracted to 4 different guys. All different and for all different reasons. Some I'm more attracted to than others. Which is really an odd dilemma for me to have. Usually there is no one. Lets start from the least

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-54554243262873623122009-02-04T22:51:00.000-08:002009-02-04T22:55:57.213-08:00

A quick follow up to the last post.I binged tonight. I try not to do that often. But tonight was one of those weird compbination nights of, sadness, lonelyness, unhapppi, boredom, ugli, and etc. All mearging into a giant snowball. I put the cheese away.I thought about how many HOURS i will spend at the gym tomorrow. As I so want to fit into a certain dress when I go to inter hash.I also just dont

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-55660061833859159352009-02-04T20:57:00.000-08:002009-02-04T21:08:58.245-08:00

(wow i hope that title is spelled right)Its been a long drink day. I'm now sitting here sipping on a bottle of ouzo 12 (Hi zane!) Its one of the only bottles left in my drinking cabinet. I helped a friend move today. I also realized what fuckin pain in the ass it is to help someone else move. With that said.. my landlord just raised my rent another 100$ . oh yea.. struggling economy and all and

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-23772458926431139942009-01-07T22:07:00.000-08:002009-01-07T22:27:03.216-08:00

Yes. Definitely. Still no job. Not really very many prospects either.In the mean time I am spending a hell of lot of time at the gym. 10.4 pounds so far worth of time at the gym in the past month. (that *cough* holiday or two fucked me up a little bit) Anyway.Lets see.. new years eve. It was fun. I went out completely alone, knowing me and always seeming to find someone to chat too while out

Bnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-26007868227595474172008-12-28T09:46:00.000-08:002008-12-28T09:58:21.824-08:00

I figured out something last night. I was laying in bed awake at 2:30 ish in them morning. I had gone to bed slightly buzzed from the hash at around 10:30pm. Anyway. I'm in a life rut. Serious life rut. I do nothing new EVER. Sure I found hashign almost 2 years ago. That was fun and new. Not to say that I will stop hashing. I wont. But Nothing. I havent done anything new in almost 2 years. I eat

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-12843718755448258462008-12-26T09:49:00.000-08:002008-12-26T09:59:50.336-08:00

OH man did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Its the day after "that holiday". On one message board that I was reading last night when i got home, this person was calling people who dont like christmas carols and the rest of the holiday ilk as sad and she felt pity for them. Which I obviously responded to it. She then goes on to say well I dont mean to criticize, but... then

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-71107154291409700822008-12-18T21:19:00.000-08:002008-12-18T21:39:24.598-08:00

I'm stressed. Tomorrow I have an interview. So I decided to get my interview clothes together tonight. I reached for a pair of dress pants. Size 12. Oh yea those will fit. Nope. Very tight. I was panicked. I dug through my whole closet. Nothing. I'm like SHIT. I'm so fucked. INTERVIEW at 10 am tomorrow and I have to get on a 8something in the morning bus.. one to be sure I wont be late. The

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-70288731924159163142008-12-14T21:51:00.000-08:002008-12-14T22:01:13.957-08:00

you've been on this side for a while...there are twice as many boys as there are girls on here, and you are still single?!is there something wrong with you? it must be your pictures.That was sent to me via an email on one of the dating sites that i'm on. I wrote him back asking if he was being mean or helpful. No response. So more than likely he was being mean. I had good workouts today and

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-11042002023622987382008-12-13T22:31:00.000-08:002008-12-13T23:10:30.486-08:00

Much like the title of this post I am tired of the old shit. I am tired TIRED T.I.R.E.D. Of being alone. I'm tired of the "are you dating anyone" with my usual response. Nope and havent for oh like forever. Dating? WTF is that? I went on a date like months ago.. but it wasnt "dating" it was a date or two. I cant even comprehend what Dating plural would be like at this point. I'm so tired of shit

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-76115521647399308042008-11-20T10:40:00.000-08:002008-11-20T11:26:51.301-08:00

I think i'm past the worst of it. Just residual cold'ness left. I was so sick for the past few days. Perhaps due to seacompressions fun and excitement. Who knows all I know is i've been cooped up in this apartment for far too long. Only making trips to safeway for more cold meds and orange juice. I can finally study my drink cards again and I will be finally getting to go to my bar tending class

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-38870786437970618662008-11-13T19:12:00.001-08:002008-11-13T19:14:09.120-08:00

I want to go out. I went out last saturday night and had a wonderful time. But it was OUT. Oh sure I meet some friends for happy hour on fridays, occasionally I meet up with some running friends too. But There are defiantly days I miss just going out with friends or friend.I had friends in town this past few days and that just sealed the deal. Just those weird random bar/restaurant conversations.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-70604376959931357502008-11-04T08:44:00.000-08:002008-11-05T23:46:08.427-08:00

I got on the scale this morning 164.8. Ouch. I knew I was big.. Didnt know it had gone that far. Looks like I have a whole lot of work to do. First step. 159.eta: well when I tried to publish this post it never went thru. So now I will just add to this one. Today was a decent day. Obama became president. So thats awesome. I was decent with my eating. I didnt go to the gym at all today however.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-47018920546501976852008-11-03T23:48:00.000-08:002008-11-04T00:05:34.653-08:00

I'm doing better. With my weight issue. No i havent gotten on a scale recently. I just have been better with my eating and drinking. Although all bets are off tomorrow if that old man wins with his moose hunting side kick. I'm going to go out tomorrow night. To celebrate or commiserate with others.BUt I went to the gym twice today. Both times were about 40 minutes long. It felt good and my knee

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-10929108255237319102008-10-31T00:53:00.000-07:002008-10-31T00:59:09.288-07:00

I get to see some of my good friends in 8 days. That makes me just giddy.My dress currently looks like shit. That however doesnt make me giddy.Went to the gym twice for two really good workouts. That makes me giddy.Ate almost an entire loaf of french bread, a decent helping of pudding and a little jello. Yea, not giddy. A friend is in town that I never thought I would see again. Giddy.That is

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-4722548032350815582008-10-30T00:28:00.001-07:002008-10-30T00:34:51.362-07:00

Well at least i learned 1 day in advance that I've gotten to big to fit into my halloween costume that i've been planning to wear for weeks. Fuck. FUCK. I seriously need to get control of my willpower. I seriously need help here. I also need a machete to cut my belly off. Maybe I should start purging or taking meth or something. I've heard that helps with dieting (i'm kidding btw)I cant even zip

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-34572461980593294622008-10-28T23:11:00.001-07:002008-10-28T23:21:19.904-07:00

Today was my first day of bartending school. I watched an epically boring video about You, Alcohol and the Law. As required by the state of washington. Learned all about checking id's, BAC's and liabilities. That was fun. Tomorrow is Products. I think we are going over everything that resides behind the bar and their purpose. Next week, I start learning drink recipes. WOO!In other news. Still no

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-18917806563507582202008-10-26T23:53:00.000-07:002008-10-27T00:08:16.351-07:00

Day whatever.Not a very productive day by any means. Worked on the dress a bit. Skirts done, bodice is done, I just gotta get the two of them together and then... *insert dramatic music here* put the zipper in. I fuckin hate zippers.Cooked some good eats tonight. Marinated top round roast with homemade dinner rolls, broccoli and brown rice. I think i'm getting a hand of this cooking thing. Its

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-72773205804400727902008-10-25T12:13:00.001-07:002008-10-25T12:23:29.600-07:00

So went to happy hour last night. I figured I could do one "fun" thing and I had my budget and I stuck too it. And it was fun.. to a point. Towards the end of my evening, a fellow runner told this joke. I didnt find it funny. Then some other words were exchanged and i just left crying. It was such a tough week and I know the comments they made towards me were all in fun and I shouldnt take things

Bnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-40233492803268900112008-10-23T22:40:00.000-07:002008-10-23T22:54:37.090-07:00

Day 2Well today was challenging to say the least. The white ribbon almost bit the dust at about 12:30 or so. So here I am scanning craiglist for jobs to apply to. See this one receptionist: 17/hr. I'm like fuck yea. I'll send a resume to that one. Quickly get an email back from the company, saying to go to this website to fill out an application there. Ok, they set up some sort of filter, every

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-1410667117911386982008-10-22T22:54:00.000-07:002008-10-22T23:09:17.316-07:00

Day 1. I didnt get on the scale. I sent out 2 resumes. I contacted a bankruptcy attorney. I sent an email to a bartending school, inquiring about enrollment. I went to the gym, Twice. I drank lots of water. I cut out a dress. I cleaned my toilet bowl. I mailed a package. I put two items up for sale on ebay. I ate better. Mostly. I also tied my liquor shelf closed. With a pretty white ribbon even.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-17612500175874593252008-10-22T00:49:00.000-07:002008-10-22T01:11:58.454-07:00

Yes I know this is my first blog post in months. But its going to be a good one I promise. I have a problem. ANd thats closer to the heart than anything. I'm 36 years old. I have no desire for anything in my life. I'm 36 years old and I have no goals in my life other than to be thinner than I am now. (which I was at one point and fucked that up, but in honesty the only reason why i was thinner

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-57136909587112381642008-07-29T01:13:00.000-07:002008-07-29T01:17:21.428-07:00

I shared a drink with youI laughed with you, all so brieflyI smiled, and you made me laugh.Yesterday you died. I just met you. Last week even.Friends shouldn't leave a persons life that quick. I'm glad you were in mine however. I didnt know you at all and yet I still miss you. Back to the earth indeed. Thom, RIP and ON ON.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-89798809901582406072008-06-10T23:16:00.000-07:002008-06-10T23:19:24.864-07:00

Have you ever had a day that everything just went right. Everything was perfect. From the start to the very end. A day that you would change nothing. Knowing you lived every possible moment of that day to its fullest extent and that you experienced all that it had to offer. That was my last friday. Now in my lifetime I am sure I have had a few of those days. But that was the most recent one in

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-11418552302599182212008-05-12T09:44:00.000-07:002008-05-12T10:03:41.533-07:00

January. Months have gone by. I've thought about writing in here, but just didnt know what to say. Nothing has changed. Still permanently single.Still chunkyStill in debt. Still in a messy apartment (whose rent just went up 70$)Still at the day spa.Still lonelyStill hashing on occasionI've figured a few things out. I figured out that I'm afraid to try new things or to even try old things I used

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-9419590020910481922008-01-26T11:05:00.000-08:002008-01-26T11:29:10.478-08:00

Things started spiraling out of control recently. Well due to the fact that I talked to a bankruptcy lawyer the other day. Since that moment I've been trying to find stability , comfort and some sense of normalcy. However all I've actually found was food, alcohol, and a even greater need for sex. ALl in the hopes that I can take my mind off my problems, one of which is laying out all over the

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-28300043236801216212008-01-16T19:33:00.000-08:002008-01-16T19:35:05.174-08:00

'm such a softy. I suck. SUCK at goodbyes. If i've been hanging out with any one person or persons for a good amount of time. Say camping with friends out at burning man. Traveling to SF to hang with my friends down there, having mom come to visit.As soon as the time is to give that final hug. I'm a mess. Tears and gut wrenching sobbing. Hell just typing about it and I'm just a mess thinking

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-48933847862354923912008-01-14T11:47:00.000-08:002008-01-14T11:54:15.228-08:00

So I added a different search bar over there ---> Its called Aidgle, its just like google search. But they donate money for every search to disaster areas and stuff here is a quote We donate 1 cent of a US dollar to non-profit organizations doing relief work in current disaster locations for every visit we receive. So search for a good cause!In other news my mom is in town. SHe just left to go

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-79356727661071133612008-01-05T23:23:00.001-08:002008-01-05T23:28:40.085-08:00

(this is copy pasted from a message board i post on regularly, sometimes the words come out and I cant help where they wind up, but i feel like they belong here too, just for posterity or shit sake ya know)I'm in a weird fuckin mood tonight. Perhaps its lonelyness. But I dont know. Its one of those. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. I know its just a weird moody thing and

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-23493919104587522992007-12-25T19:36:00.000-08:002007-12-25T20:03:01.788-08:00

Today was a good day. It was "christmas day" ie tuesday. Pardon me as I copy a post I just wrote a little while ago. Its the start of this blog entry. or towards the start anyway.i made a weird pasta dish.I napped.I drank.I cleaned.I even cut some fabric. (never got those curtains made however)I watched the rest of dexter season 1. (man thats some fucked up shit)I sent text messages of well

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-21952124643993927612007-12-18T12:07:00.000-08:002007-12-18T12:13:10.003-08:00

I kissed a boy on friday and a little bit more than kissing on saturday. I actually went out on a real date. Drinks and a movie. He is super nice and we have so much in common. He has been to burning man for 4 years. will this turn into anything? I have no idea. But damn It made me feel so good to be held and kissed. Waking up the next morning and cuddling after santarchy with our legs and arms

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-40974577749573813252007-12-12T10:02:00.000-08:002007-12-12T10:31:39.503-08:00

Around me is nothing but fleece. I got orders actual paying orders for the fleece scarves I make. Giving one away as a gift created 4 of the orders. Currently cutting the purple and black one. The pink and grey one is sitting on my desk in the on deck circle to be cut up. There is a red and black one pinned and waiting to be sewn and another red black one waiting to get pinned up. I'm tired.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-16578548672829484682007-11-29T23:15:00.000-08:002007-11-29T23:41:58.110-08:00

Yep, its been months again. I apologize if anyone is actually trying to keep track of me.Lets see.. I'm still single. Still chunky. Still running with my hashers (drinkers with a running problem), still sewing, still living in a pretty messy apartment,still going to file for bankruptcy, still a lot of things. However some of the thngs that I'm not:I'm not sad. I'm not unhappy that I'm single.I'm

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-68399612314392491322007-11-02T01:34:00.001-07:002007-11-02T01:34:55.446-07:00

A daughter of a friend died the other day. She was 17 when she died. She had a heart transplant when she was 15 and the antirejection drugs stopped doing what they were supposed to.I didnt know her for very long. I had only been in her company maybe a half dozen times. But there was something about her that made her special to me. Perhaps cause she was differnt. SHe reminded me of me. And maybe

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-73745250056742987732007-09-21T23:27:00.000-07:002007-09-21T23:34:06.073-07:00

I havent blogged in forever. Months even. I wonder if anyone still looks at this. I just felt the need tonight. Lets see in the past few months. I got fat. Seriously. I'm pounds away from obese again. 150+ right now and at 5'3" it aint a pretty site.I went to burning man. I went to burning man in the same car as my ex. We camped in different locations but drove down togehter. Burning Man was

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-9843534835237414822007-07-31T11:24:00.001-07:002007-07-31T11:30:28.345-07:00

I'm floundering here. Citibank is completely ruining my life. Want to donate to a good cause.. that cause being me? Anyone? Couple bucks my way? So.. Glenn and I had automatic bill pay thru our citibank account. Well they disabled it for no reason. Seriously. I asked them. They didnt know why they closed it. ALl they could say was Sorry. So now they sent me to collections. Ruining my somewhat

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-32061391061384450282007-07-23T10:16:00.000-07:002007-07-23T15:13:56.698-07:00

Eyes blind, supplicating hands held out before him as if for alms, Garraty walked toward the dark figure. And when the hand touched his shoulder again, he somehow found the strength to run. Was my favorite line from the book. The Long Walk, Richard Bachman.STarted this blog entry oh.. about 5 hours ago. Took a nap, did some errands. Even sent a text message. Which i still suck at. GOing hashing

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-625140332408253032007-07-18T19:19:00.000-07:002007-07-18T19:36:47.414-07:00

I'm reading a book, that oddly enough I cannot put down. Every time I try I pick it up again to read 4-5 more pages, then I think to myself. Gosh do something else. Work on that little pink jacket you partially got done on your weekend. ALl you have to do is hem the damn thing and put some white racing stripes on the arms (ribbons). The pink (pepto pink at that) is one of the give aways for the

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-3690468266496222972007-07-10T17:50:00.000-07:002007-07-10T18:13:47.146-07:00

I just bought myself Ramen noodles for the first time from the local grocery store cause they were 4 for a dollar. I used to get the "fancy" ramen noodles from the asian grocery store in the International District. But i fgured eh what the hell. I need some cheep meals in the next few weeks. I didnt run today. I did go for a walk. It wasnt very long walk but it was something. I have less than 2

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-91113583160940204542007-07-08T04:36:00.001-07:002007-07-08T04:41:29.661-07:00

Helllllllllo Chunky Chick.In the past 2 weeks I've put on at least 7 pounds. Could of been more. I'm now at a bulky 154.I believe i was about 148 for the camping trip at massive.I've have 7 weeks to knock that down a bit. Or more than a bit. It was the cheese. Its my addiction and i cannot resist it. In other news.. my allergies are not making me a happy camper. Every morning I wake up with such

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-75409087181704546042007-07-03T09:29:00.000-07:002007-07-03T09:36:42.417-07:00

So almost all situated in my new place. Still have some unpacking to do. Put some things on the walls. But i'm here and just trying to enjoy my new space. So far things I really like this place are:The water pressure. No squeaky floor above my bedroomThe dishwasherDid I mention the water pressure. I really didnt know how much I missed taking a shower, until I got in to mine here. The water comes

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-5065012981333606202007-06-23T22:19:00.000-07:002007-06-25T04:22:59.660-07:00

Below are various quotes from guys that I have received via a personal ad. Some make me feel so damn good.What kind of fool would divorce you? Oh Well I guess his loss could be my gain. Reply to me and let's see where it leads.You are very beautiful...But sure you heard that a million times.There were others too and this guy I've seen twice so far.. just thinks i'm the sexiest thing. It makesme

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-66134342406270189822007-06-10T22:13:00.000-07:002007-06-10T22:22:28.530-07:00

I got an apartment. Its 2 blocks away. So thats a good thing. I get to stay in ballard. Its a smaller place (1 bedroom). So thats a bit of a bummer trying to figure out how to fit 1 1/2 rooms worth of furniture into it. Specially since my bedroom is smaller. BUt I got a place and its cheaper, by about 70$. Work is going well. I looked at some pictures of myself today and thats was all it took

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-80118158419402871652007-06-05T22:59:00.001-07:002007-06-05T23:04:51.327-07:00

I'm fuckin freaking out. I still have no leads on an apartment. And I have to be moved in 20 days or less.I should be also be asleep tomorrow.. for its another 7 am start ie 5am wake up 10 hours hostessing kind of day. My life is so fucked right now. I'm gonna go cry and hope for a better tomorrow.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-80155122890916857032007-05-31T21:17:00.001-07:002007-05-31T21:25:51.350-07:00

I swear it cracks me up sometimes when I start a post and I post what ever song title is playing at the time. This time its Gary Hoey's Tribal War Babies. What an odd title of a song.ANyway.. moving on to more important news besides the fact that I'm still 20 pounds over weight (at least). Work is interesting. Not sure how its all going to play out. But eh Its cool.But the big news is I gotta

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-32163389698177740322007-05-28T00:07:00.000-07:002007-05-28T00:14:46.766-07:00

Cool Links I found todayCool artAddicting gameEye makeup stylesCalorie finderUV Tattoo'sJust a cool photo pageI have to be to work really early all this week. either at 7 or 7:30. I will not be a happy camper.Still getting fat.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-56887558838176582272007-05-26T12:10:00.000-07:002007-05-26T12:18:13.837-07:00

Went out with my hash group last night for happy hour. It was a fun evening. Also yesterday I went out for a walk/run/bike ride around discovery park. It was great and I have to try to remember how much I enjoy running/biking when I'm sitting at home time and time again. Hitting f5 on various websites. Today is one of the last days of training at my new work as a hostess at the new downtown

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-72888199726949317832007-05-20T21:15:00.001-07:002007-05-20T21:22:25.069-07:00

I'm getting fat. Again. I have to stop myself some how and I dont know how. But I know that I have to. I CANNOT get fat again. I'm already hating how I look in the mirror. I dont know what the scale says these days. All I knows is what I see in the mirror. I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know why I am eating the way I am. I dont know where my self control went. I dont know where my

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-6314119706081813622007-05-16T10:03:00.000-07:002007-05-16T10:16:15.505-07:00

I'm not sure, but I think one exact year has gone by since I moved in this place last year. A lot has changed, I've changed a lot. I'm thinner thats for sure. But mentally I'm in a lot different of a place. And today I start a new job. I'm going to be a hostess at a downtown restaurant thats going to be opening soon. Should be an interesting experience. As to why I'm no longer at the ice cream

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-16541943415810826272007-05-04T23:39:00.000-07:002007-05-04T23:44:04.720-07:00

There are some nights that nothing satisfies me. And the only thing I want is just plain old sex. I pissed off a almost gay man this evening. He owned more fabric and more sewing machines than me.Gosh I want sex.Scott is in ohio til the 15th. and unless I can find someone else. my options are limited,My Lucky Charms got me no where.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-55310814962142703022007-05-02T23:42:00.000-07:002007-05-02T23:44:40.868-07:00

I fucking hate this Iraq war.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-25802050384681227292007-04-30T22:49:00.000-07:002007-05-02T09:21:41.171-07:00

Various links I found on one of my many message boards:IrackJesus HumorVideo about hashingDorky flash gameKitty video

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-57915782242307576712007-04-30T22:09:00.000-07:002007-04-30T22:18:43.840-07:00

Three posts in one! First.. this was my last cake that i needed to do for my cake decorating class. Second: I wrote this while sitting in the Oakland airport.The song on at the time was The Dolphin's Cry, by Live."Its nice to know that there are still princeses in teh world", the lady says as she slumps into the chair next to me.I quickly mentioned that I forgot I have the tiara on until I notice

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-91977617881183866352007-04-29T23:48:00.000-07:002007-04-30T00:09:43.122-07:00

I went to San francisco, had a absolutely wonderful time. Pictures soon.I come back to Seattle and completly go apeshit on a cake in my apartment which resulted in a cake and frosting spray, in which there is still frosting on my ceiling.I cant make roses, they look more like small cabbage or lettuce.I made out with Scott last night. I went on a naughty schoolgirl run. Pictures cumming soon.My

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-16190697496057122312007-04-16T10:11:00.000-07:002007-04-16T10:16:41.897-07:00

So I got on the scale today. Not really sure why, just felt like it. Ya know I'm not scared of the scale anymore. I get on it. See what it says and go, yep. Even if it shows a higher number like it did today. 145 if you want to know. I just dont mind anymore. Sure I know I'm going to have to do some serious working out soon. But it still cannot stop how I'm feeling. I leave for San Francisco in

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-48486605014437216212007-04-14T12:17:00.000-07:002007-04-14T12:25:37.615-07:00

One seriously hung over girl writing this message. But as bad as i feel. I'm still so damn happy. I have seriously found a great group.This guy I had only met last week at the tacoma run, sat and held my hand in the stairwell at a local restaurant. I got sick. He stayed with me til other help arrived.I love this group. Besides the burning man family. These are definitely my people. In an hour or

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-34671290391856377372007-04-10T19:42:00.000-07:002007-04-10T19:55:10.479-07:00

It was a fun evening at the lower level. So many of my friends were there. I just feel so good having these people in my life. They are so happy for me that I found the hash group. They are so excited for me.I looked so fabulous and felt even better.Work was hard today and my arm is pretty damn sore.tips were good however.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-45267725919467346942007-04-09T19:56:00.000-07:002007-04-09T20:17:17.524-07:00

Friday I worked my ass off at work.Friday I went to happy hour.Friday I went home with scott.Saturday I had sex with scott.Saturday I ran 5-6 miles with the hashers.Saturday I spent another night with scott. Sunday I went out to a gay bar in pin stripe pants.Sunday my friend Todd bought me a rose.Today is monday and I have to find a dress to wear.Today I chose this one(please note that pic is a

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-87736416352834893522007-04-06T09:43:00.000-07:002007-04-06T09:45:15.629-07:00

Its almost a guarantee that I will be hashing in tacoma this saturday. Its a beautiful sunny day out there.Its friday and tonight there is a hash happy hour on cap hill that I will be attending gleefully after my shift at the store today which should prove insane.Right now I'm just sitting here and so filled with a odd sense of happiness. But i like it.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-70197556641425299672007-04-05T10:09:00.000-07:002007-04-05T10:13:12.942-07:00

Yesterday got the best "tip" ever while working at the ice cream shop.A lady called me "Tiny". I've never been called tiny before.I'm also working on a way to get down to the tacoma hash run, this Saturday. I'm doing something I've not done before in the past.. asking for help ie.. a ride.I kind of already have 2 offers for rides. Friday is going to be 70 degrees and sunny. My arms and hands are

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-76842107937050112592007-04-01T14:43:00.001-07:002007-04-01T14:44:37.746-07:00

I'm off to go on my first Hash* run. I'm so excited.*Hashing

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-14352242731674935322007-03-31T23:12:00.000-07:002007-03-31T23:19:15.078-07:00

"The proverb is wrong. Time does not heal all wounds. It merely softens the pain and blurs the memories".-From the movie Antonia's LineI miss you

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-79944407650455649062007-03-29T22:58:00.000-07:002007-03-29T23:15:37.081-07:00

Just an ordinary day today. Work was work. A little frustrating cause the rest of the staff thinks that I can do everything in the morning including pulling a rabbit out of my ass. I didnt even have time to eat my lunch let alone, a trip to the bathroom or even a drink of water. But SOMEHOW i'm supposed to make all the waffle cones, all the brownies, all the cakes, all the cleaning, and help the

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-13001776764969334192007-03-27T19:27:00.000-07:002007-03-27T22:02:59.862-07:00

I know I just bought myself a ticket to go to San Francisco.I know that my tax return will be paying for it.I know that I wont be in town on the date that was my anniversary.I know that I will be with people who love me.I know that I am going to be so happy to visit my family down there.I know I'm still scared to fly.I know this is making me very happy. I know my bosses are cool by letting me

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-25427260639364046162007-03-27T01:30:00.000-07:002007-03-27T01:33:09.469-07:00

Scott just left. Its 1:33 am.We made out a little. For a while it was nice to kiss him. But at some point it was just i dont know. Odd maybe.My body felt good, but I didnt feel anything.I need to feel sleep, so out comes the sleep arsenal.Scott is 46.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-60046538439566642132007-03-26T09:47:00.000-07:002007-03-26T09:51:12.732-07:00

Every morning right about now I just feel like i'm dying. Maybe its exhaustion. Maybe its frustration. Maybe its everything going on. I just feel ill.I need a break.One good thing however. Is its been a while since I've cried.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-19172288665759848592007-03-25T01:17:00.000-07:002007-03-25T01:21:15.632-07:00

Time to take off the wedding gown and stop playing with my new voodoo doll.Somehow that sentence is perfectly legitimate. Its 1:21 on sunday. Its been a crazy weekend.Yea.. definitely time to sleep.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-24564350965176309672007-03-22T23:45:00.000-07:002007-03-22T23:53:15.205-07:00

I cannot fuckin live like this. Holy frakkin shit this computer is so fuckin slow. I dont know what the fuck is going on. I typed the title of this blog than leaned back in my chair for about 30 seconds for it to appear. And I just restarted the damn thing too. I dont know whats slowing it down all I know is that its driving me fuckin nuts.That and jason is a fuckin dork. I guess on a first date

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-78561172585071585422007-03-22T22:05:00.000-07:002007-03-22T22:08:35.604-07:00

I am quite sick and tired of my computer crashing.Thats now twice this week. Shitty tips today only like 7 something. Still I made my "minimum" of 7$. could be worse could be like the ben & jerry's tippers.I'm drinking wine. I dont know.. it was like 5$ at safeway.Going to the bar now. Something I havent done in a while. Eh more posting later.I think. I need a hat, as zits are bloomingMy commute

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-71040305918538849882007-03-19T23:18:00.000-07:002007-03-19T23:25:49.888-07:00

I got a bike. Its a 21 speed schwinn. I got it off of craigslist tonight for 80$.Its all mine. I'm so excited not to have to walk for 45 minutes every day to work anymore! Well cept for tomorrow. Cause it needs to go to the bike shop for a lil tuneup and some items that its missing. I walked up there in the pouring rain and paid the girl her 80 and I rode it home in a even harder rain and sleet/

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-7561750272004672572007-03-19T01:06:00.000-07:002007-03-19T01:13:51.056-07:00

Just got back from the Re-Bar with two friends of mine. It was an intersting weekend. 3 dates+1/2.Bowling.Stair climbing.Gay barIrish barCopDartsBowlingBellevueGreat foodGreat drinksNew peopleOld PeopleSuccessesSleeplessnessFeeling sexyLooking even sexierBoobs, cocks, pussy and ass art.Wanting to cryWanting to danceWanting to escape.Sweatamd smiling.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-44766552433370708002007-03-17T11:52:00.000-07:002007-03-17T11:54:51.323-07:00

Something feels odd today. Like somethings out of place. Missing. out of sorts.Just odd. Like a left the stove on kind of feeling. Like the universe is swirling a little faster or slower, just something different.Its 11:56. Jason should be here soon to pick me up for lunch.I'm in a black camisole and my orange funky shirt a friend gave me. And my size 6 blue jeans with dark purple doc martins.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-85151272827440479682007-03-15T22:44:00.000-07:002007-03-15T22:53:06.326-07:00

That swiss and bacon sandwich at 10pm was a bad idea. Tasty... but bad idea. Just another day. Taked to Rodney on the phone tonight, before our date tomorrow. Still havnt decided what dress to wear. He lives in puyallup. 40 something miles away. My guess, is this isnt going to work out for multiple reasons. Now mind you I'm not stacking the deck aganist him. I'm just realisitc. Saturday jason is

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-76121516233828205532007-03-15T08:55:00.000-07:002007-03-15T09:03:01.886-07:00

I'm not really sure what day or night i'm on of little or poor sleep. I've lost count. I feel all I need is some sleep so I can think clear again and feel some what human. Sure since I'm so used to having insomnia I can still function almost normally as far as work is concerned. But its the mental focusing on trying to figure "me" out. Getting into bed, getting all comfy and then, nothing.. for

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-77694740101633661042007-03-13T22:30:00.000-07:002007-03-13T22:40:18.185-07:00

So I made it through another day. Go me.Work was work. Nothing interesting there. I got a pay check so that was good. It was only for 4 days worth so it was small. My eyes felt swollen til about 3-4 pm. Thats after slathering on this eye puffiness product that aveda makes. I'm a weird state of numbess right now. I cant really describe it. I went to Goodwill tonight to find myself some black pants

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-59683723368634614132007-03-13T08:58:00.000-07:002007-03-13T09:30:24.985-07:00

Woke to swollen eyes again. I'm taking a break from all my message boards. Right now seeing people post about how happy and in love they are just rips me apart. So I just needed to not read that for a while.I have to leave for work in about a half hour or so. Its gonna be a long day. I feel sick. I'm tired. And my nose is still stuffy. I think my cold hanging around is because of one of my teeth

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-59768904437590305582007-03-11T22:55:00.000-07:002007-03-11T23:09:21.344-07:00

Somedays are so split in two. Some parts of today were so damn fabulous like me running 9 minute miles in the St. pats dash. Other parts were just so damn sucky. The almost constant tooth pain, ear ringing and weight that never leaves my chest. I feel it mostly at night when I'm laying down and my mind is reeling about thoughts of my own life. How I screwed things up. How I continue to screw

Bnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-63176970356453336702007-03-08T01:45:00.000-08:002007-03-08T01:46:39.597-08:00

Somedays, it takes all I can not to throw myself into traffic.Somedays, it takes all I can not to wonder whats going to happen next. And then live it. Its just the daily battle of (my)life.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-7905486444716376982007-03-07T08:47:00.000-08:002007-03-07T08:59:45.863-08:00

Lost For WordsI was spending my time in the doldrumsI was caught in a cauldron of hateI felt persecuted and paralysedI thought that everything else would just waitWhile you are wasting your time on your enemiesEngulfed in a fever of spiteBeyond your tunnel vision reality fadesLike shadows into the nightTo martyr yourself to cautionIs not going to help at allbecause ther'll be no safety in

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-70994720876785771342007-03-06T08:49:00.000-08:002007-03-06T09:23:33.661-08:00

Nothing like waking up in a pool of sweat with the hottest sex dream that didnt ever include sex. It was just the lead to stuff that had me sweating (or could of been my cold fighting its way out). It was with Glenn.Him looking up at me as he was peeling off my jeans in a hotel bathroom, and him saying, "I can't wait to have sex with my...Then I woke up. Fuck.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-16950784543390957842007-03-05T22:58:00.000-08:002007-03-05T23:11:10.336-08:00

I'm feeling slightly better today. Which is a plus. Heading to bed in a minute. I just feel like I have so much to say, But then I sit here and try to write something that makes some sense of whats going on in my head and honestly just goes in circles. My ears are ringing extra loud today due to all my nose blowing. My skin under my nose has been rubbed so raw, the skin is peeling. I figured out

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-59356546274292568242007-03-04T23:28:00.000-08:002007-03-04T23:48:04.375-08:00

Ironic that thats the song that came up when I decided to write this blog tonight. Since all weekend I've been struggling to do just that.It all started on thursday my last day at the spa with just a little scratchy throat. It progressed into a full on cold by midday friday. Work at the new ice cream shop is interesting. But I have yet to fully grasp it. Maybe I'm just over thinking it all.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-38964014603882212592007-02-27T10:50:00.000-08:002007-02-27T10:54:32.877-08:00

Marriage is hard. It's a choice to stay together, sometimes it's a helluva lot easier to just give up.copied that quote from one of the message boards i read on occasion. Today is a down day for me. Not really sure why. But I was walking home from the gym and just felt like such a failure at life. 3 more days left at the spa. And an eternity of being alone, or at least thats the way it feels

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-76171478843798727212007-02-22T23:53:00.000-08:002007-02-23T08:23:10.505-08:00

The song right before beer goggles was K's Choice Addict. Which i found quite fitting seeing as I was sitting here with a scoop of freshly made brownies on my spatulaIt's not a habit, it's cool, I feel aliveIf you don't have it you're on the other sideI'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)I bet she wasnt talking about brownies however. Tomorrow is going to be an intersting day. I gotta get up

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-69448032649396187962007-02-21T00:13:00.000-08:002007-02-21T00:18:11.946-08:00

I got a new job. My training starts friday. My last day at the spa is on the 1st. I'm happy. I'm going back to the ice cream business.I have 6 more days left of working at the spa. Its driving me nuts. Did i mention I was happy. I may be soon signing up for cake decorating classes. My tax return is going to be small. I cannot deduct the over 500$ worth of clothes and shoes I bought for work. I'm

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-87767269347391321022007-02-14T10:21:00.000-08:002007-02-14T10:32:51.736-08:00

fuck. its fuckin valentines fucking day. fuck it. fuck FUCK FUCK fuck the lovers, the haters and me. Fuck the newlyweds, fuck the cynical married fucks, fuck the single, fuck the coupled, fuck the hermaphrodites, fuck the bisexual panthers, fuck the prostitues that ruin marriages(scuse me, escorts), fuck depression, fuck self help books, fuck everett, fuck snow, fuck i-5, fuck this apartment,

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-38566056728488575032007-02-14T00:05:00.000-08:002007-02-14T00:07:20.448-08:00

in the middle of my 3rd beer. And i ate some frosting. no cake.. just furosting. cause its almost valentines day.. and the commercials say, spread a little love, spread some frosting ,which always found to be a little innuendoy. But fuck the frosting is tasty. and it was only 78 cents at safeway.so why you ask am i drinking on a tuesday night. Oh.. lets see. two more of my tem members put thier

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-25570320457870985542007-02-10T01:45:00.000-08:002007-02-06T23:36:20.586-08:00

I went out tonight. I took a chance. I went out in downtown. I kissed a boy. I had my number entered into his cell phone. I had 2+ people think I'm a freak. I am quite ok with it all.I sat on that 7pm bus to downtown. I got off on the queen anne/denny stop and walked into tini bigs going. OK.. this is it. Your meeting some new friends tonight, you can do it. Your a big girl. I sat at the bar. A

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-58205882924016270052007-02-06T23:26:00.000-08:002007-02-06T23:36:20.820-08:00

I've been cheatedBeen mistreatedWhen will I be lovedI've been pushed downI've been pushed 'roundWhen will I be lovedWhen I find a new manThat I want for mineHe always breaks my heart in twoIt happens every timeI've been made blueI've been lied toWhen will I be lovedWhen I find a new manThat I want for mineHe always breaks my heart in twoIt happens every timeOh, I've been cheatedBeen

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-64344570126191037942007-02-05T23:40:00.000-08:002007-02-05T23:49:51.662-08:00

So last night was i'm not sure as i've lost count this week anyway.. I think the 4th or 5th time i cried myself to sleep. I also had some really bad dreams to. Do I think dreams mean anything? Oh i dont know. Perhaps on some level they do. I was really violent to someone in my dreams last night. All day today I was troubled by it. Work is still shitty. I'm trying to get my resume updated.. but I

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-82237341569224013382007-02-02T10:03:00.000-08:002007-02-02T10:05:18.376-08:00

SO went to bed at 3 am last nightWoke up at 8:30.Will be going back to bed soon. But I found this link posted on one of my favorite websites. It made me laugh so I felt like sharing it.Telemarketer Prankthats all. I feel good this morning. I will feel even better after a nap and then a run.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-51781628413981657852007-02-02T02:36:00.000-08:002007-02-02T02:57:03.426-08:00

What an interesting day. Please disregard any spelling errors. I did have a few drinks tonight here at home. Went to inventory night and learned that not only are both managers leaving (i knew abotu one already) but didnt know about the other, nor did I know about one of my other coworkers putting her notice in. So in the next month we are losing 3 staff on an already short staffed staff. Other

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-66386854868264949172007-01-31T23:18:00.000-08:002007-01-31T23:28:58.566-08:00

Well this morning I learned how much weight i've regained. I weighed in at 143 this morning. So from my low of 138, thats 5 pounds. Sure that may not seem like a lot. But at the rate i'm going its not good either.Tomorrow morning I will go to the gym. I'm taking my sleep stuff now and hopefully I will get a decent amount of sleep tonight. Everyone loves my red hair. Me I'm to concerned about my

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-55047023932125854882007-01-30T22:46:00.000-08:002007-01-30T23:06:01.193-08:00

I'm eating way to much.And I dont know why. Its not like I'm hungry or should I say THAT hungry when I start eating. But I just dont stop. I am sure I've regained some weight. I dont know whats gotten into me these past few days.Tonight all i wanted was donuts or some other type of cake chocolate confection.I ate way to much tonight. And then I get up shake my belly fat menincingly at myself.

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-11463277458855773432007-01-28T11:40:00.000-08:002007-01-28T11:46:42.207-08:00

So at 9:45 i left for work this morning. I got to work and my manager was like. Oh becky I'm so sorry, i totally forgot you were told to come in early. Do you want to stay and leave early or come back at your schedule time.I came home. I got a couple chapters in a book read and watched 30 minutes of a movie. Other random things I thought about while I was homeI still wish I had a flat stomach. In

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-28659955270337461982007-01-25T23:45:00.000-08:002007-01-25T23:59:56.517-08:00

So yea its been a while since i've written anything.Lots of stuff going in my life that I just, didnt feel like updating this. Was anyone wondering if I was ok. (yes I'm sure thats a hypothetical question, I dont expect a response)But a lot had transpired in all aspects of my life in the past few weeks.Some good, some bad, some ugly.A friends birthday party is saturday night and I cant go as my

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-23253310976666263932007-01-12T16:29:00.000-08:002007-01-12T16:42:10.017-08:00

If I could wave my magic wandI'd make everything all rightI'm not one to believe in magicBut I sometimes have a second sightI'm not one with a sense of proportionWhen my heart still changes overnightSo I'm watching this movie, its an old Neil Simon film that Alan Alda was in (as I got on a brief alan alda movie kick for a while now) Anyway. In this movie, California Suite. It shows Alan Alda and

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-89436583993817131752007-01-11T15:42:00.000-08:002007-01-11T15:44:13.496-08:00

I gotta be upset about something. I just ate a whole bunch of nasty cookies from safeway. They are the safeway brand of chocolate chip cookie.. Gosh they are gross. But for some reason I thought I needed them to make me feel better. It didnt work. Its 3:48 and I need to head back to work. *sigh*Thankfully today is my friday.Ugh Now i just feel sick from all those cookies.Its gotta be almost "."

Bnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10164484.post-34716774660046906482007-01-10T11:14:00.000-08:002007-01-10T11:21:45.359-08:00

(Using the new blogger technology now. We will see how we get along.) I dont feel right today. I slept ok. To many worries going through my mind.Way to many worries. I just dont feel right today.I'm just going through the motions it seems these days. Its all I can do.Maybe tomorrow will be better.The vertigo is still around. Not as much, but still enough to notice at times.Ok.. brief crying jag

Bnoreply@blogger.com0