no, you don't

Yesterday I went to the gym and elliptical trainered for 1/2 hour, then went and sat in the sauna for 10 minutes before therapy.

then therapy and told her all the recent goings on, and she says I have to get mentally prepared for the... gosh I cant even type it.

After he told me he wont be going to burning man, its like the world has stopped around me.

I told her my feelings about never wanting to fall in love again cause I know I couldn't handle this heartbreak again. She said right now the way I feel is fine, cause i'm right in the center of the storm. And really cannot see beyond the pain. She is very concerned for me if... the end of our relationship does come. There I typed it. I told her if it did happen I would have to be committed. I told her that I had told Glenn, that I knew I would be with him for the rest of my life, and I'm not dead.

After therapy I took myself to see the Prada movie. It was predictable, I however didnt predict crying in the theater every time there was a romantic moment on the screen. Its like I cant even see people in love/lust without getting emotional.

I got home and got ready to head to the u-district for a "urban pub hike" it was cool. People were nice, but it felt so weird to me. Talked a lot about good beers with one of the guys as he is a writer for a local beer publication.

I took the bus back to Ballard, and walked home. And just thought, is this what my life is going to be like. A job that pays the rent, and random nights out with other singles.

I stayed up til around midnight and went to bed, a few nightmares involving Glenn woke me up. I went back to bed a couple times getting another 45 minute sleeps in. I just finished lunch and waiting for my stomach to settle a bit, as the nightmares did a number on me.

I will be heading to the gym for another workout and sauna sit.
I'm going over to the house tonight to watch stargate and do laundry.

I still haven't decided about burning man.