Control
I was just about to shut down my computer to install my new phone stuff. But this song came on and I was like.. let me listen closer.. something was ringing true there.. Its Control, by Poe
some of the key lyrics I especially liked
This lyric here was the one that sold it for me however.
Thoughtout all of this I still feel whole. I still feel great about myself and who I am as a person. I know where i came from. I know I was a mess. I know I had depression. Let me state that again. I HAD depression. But I'm whole now. I'm whole and want to show the world who I am. I'm whole and i want to feel the love that I deserve. Cause I've got years of love to catch up on, years of love that I was never able to feel before. Years of everything that I wasnt able to see clearly.
Its my time now. Sure I'm sad about the years of MY life that I lost due to all of this, but look how many years I have ahead of me. Sure I'm sad at all the sex I could of had, but when one isnt able to feel it emotionally.. ah... But today is a new day.
I'm still angry and hurt. But I'm still happy with who I am.
Still doesnt mean that I dont miss him terribly.. I do. Its just I want to share all of this goodness and love with him. But he is to blind from the years of build up of resentment towards me to see it.
But damn, I feel good. I slept good last night. thank you trazadone!
Soon I'm going to make some t-shirts, I'm hoping to make some money. I hope anyway. A little side business thingy. I figure if cafepress and t-shirt hell can make stupid sirts and people buy them I certainly can to. Nothing is stopping me now. Especially not me.
some of the key lyrics I especially liked
Surprised you to find that Im laughing?
You thought that youd find me in tears
You thought Id be crawling the walls
Like a tiny mosquito and trembling in fear
....
While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me
I was taking control
....
This lyric here was the one that sold it for me however.
You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole
Thoughtout all of this I still feel whole. I still feel great about myself and who I am as a person. I know where i came from. I know I was a mess. I know I had depression. Let me state that again. I HAD depression. But I'm whole now. I'm whole and want to show the world who I am. I'm whole and i want to feel the love that I deserve. Cause I've got years of love to catch up on, years of love that I was never able to feel before. Years of everything that I wasnt able to see clearly.
Its my time now. Sure I'm sad about the years of MY life that I lost due to all of this, but look how many years I have ahead of me. Sure I'm sad at all the sex I could of had, but when one isnt able to feel it emotionally.. ah... But today is a new day.
I'm still angry and hurt. But I'm still happy with who I am.
Still doesnt mean that I dont miss him terribly.. I do. Its just I want to share all of this goodness and love with him. But he is to blind from the years of build up of resentment towards me to see it.
But damn, I feel good. I slept good last night. thank you trazadone!
Soon I'm going to make some t-shirts, I'm hoping to make some money. I hope anyway. A little side business thingy. I figure if cafepress and t-shirt hell can make stupid sirts and people buy them I certainly can to. Nothing is stopping me now. Especially not me.
posted by B at 9:42 AM
1 Comments:
>I know I had depression. Let me state that again. I HAD depression. But I'm whole now.
RebA!, I am in such admiration of you. I wish I was able to say that. I'm not sure I ever will be. You inspire me.
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