The Mission

Tonight I learned that they have exchanged "i love you's". Over dinner/drinks and arguing at hatties.

I really dont know what else to say anymore. I just feel like the past 8 years of my life have been wasted and thrown away. Sure I got over my depression, but look where it got me. 8 years.. gone. Sure he says he looks back on the good memories fondly. That he will always remember those good times and reflect on them.

I always said I was a bad/awful/horrible wife. Seems he always believed it. I really dont know why I still feel the way i do about him still. I know I shouldnt love him. I know I should hate him for all the pain he is putting me through.

He loves her now. He doesnt love me. And there is nothing I can do about it.

Darkness, Darkness, be my pillow, Take my head and let me sleep
In the coolness of your shadow, In the silence of your deep